We recently switched to the new version of Blogger. I don't suppose it's any different for the reader, but it apparently has all kinds of new features for us. The only one I've discovered is that somehow, as I switched our blog over to the new software, the malicious A.I. that runs the program decided to put Walter's name on every post I've written, and vice versa. So if you look below, you'll see that Alison wrote about why Walmart sucks, and Biffle wrote about being the nerd girl at the Honors reunion. Somewhat out of character, really.
I believe this particular glitch is now fixed--I did, in fact, write this post, as well as the ones from 1-4-07--but please keep this in mind if you read our archived material.
If anybody knows how I might fix this problem, I'd love to hear about it.
1.09.2007
Caveat emptor
1.04.2007
Cash McGraw
Check out Eliza's dog trainer's blog, which today features the unbelievably cute new member of the McGraw family.
Answer to the quiz
I'm sure none of you will be surprised to learn that Biffle is playing bluegrass right now, so he's unable to give the answer to the QUIZ from earlier today. He has instructed me to tell you all that the thing that is special about the letter to the editor is that it consists of three paragraphs and three sentences. One sentence per paragraph.
I also think an acceptable answer is that it contains absolutely no real information. I suspect that it's written in code--only homophobic South Carolina Episcopalians can understand it. It's probably informing them about a secret meeting coming up.
QUIZ!
Go read this letter to the editor in today's Charleston newspaper.
When you're finished, come back here and comment on what makes this particular letter special.
Answers at 10.
1.02.2007
Wal-Mart Will Always Suck
Listen: Two years ago Alison and i had to make a decision that really made us think: we had to decide to 1) stay true to our word, or 2) put 10,000 dollars in our pocket. The story leading up to this decision is boring--it was just one of those things that comes up when you're selling a house, so don't worry about the details. The only reason i mention it is because of how hard we had to consider which we were going to do.
To help us decide, we consulted friends and family. We consulted realtors and strangers. I think we both consulted higher powers than that, even. In the end, we went with what we thought was right and sent the 10k folks packing and i don't think either of us regret it. The amazing thing, however, was the number of people that thought we should take the big money. Evidently, when there's money involved, folks are tempted to have an entirely different ethical system than they might normally use.
Here's another short story for you: Right before our President took us to war back in 2002, or whatever, Alison and i were on a street corner in Nashville at an anti-war rally. We had a dog with us. We were not carrying a bongo drum. We did not smell of patchouli. I think because of these details, the teevee newsperson on site figured the two of us were probably good for a lucid comment. She asked something like "do you think the President's reasons for this war are legitimate" or something. Alison had the soundbites at her fingertips. She was great! And then the reporter turned to me...Sounding all the world like an Apocalypse Now-era Dennis Hopper let loose on Hillsboro Village, I pleaded man, it's all about the oil, man. The reporter, deftly figuring out that this one had simply left his bongo drum at home, quickly moved on. Had she stayed, however, i would have laid some heavy wisdom on her:
When there's ten trillion dollars at stake, you can bet yer sweet ass there's some funny business goin' on.
Anyway, read this .
Listen: Wal Mart wouldn't know an ethical business decision if it bit them on the butt. Making the ethical choice rarely ever makes one wealthy, and Wal Mart is one of the wealthiest companies in the world.
In the article the automaton of a reporter tells us,
"During an extraordinary meeting in Las Vegas in early October, competing bulb makers, academics, environmentalists and government officials met to ponder, at times uncomfortably, how Wal-Mart could sell more of the fluorescent lights."
Tell me: Since when does the world's most successful retailer really need a professor and a tree-hugger to tell it how to sell something?
Here's another brain teaser for you:
"To keep up with swelling orders from the chain, Osram Sylvania took to flying entire planeloads of compact fluorescent bulbs from Asia to the United States."
If this is so, then how many years does it take one planeload of 100 watt CFLs to offset the noxious gases pumped out by a single trans-Pacific flight?
Next:
We are told "Mr. Hamburg recalled telling [the CEO of Wal-Mart] “You need to look at what is being sold on the shelf,” over a dinner of turkey and mashed potatoes." Oh, those folksy Wal Mart guys! Eatin' mashed potatoes and turkey! Who gives a crap what they had for dinner? And, again, why on earth is an environmental studies professor giving business advice to the head of Wal-Mart? And even so, can't he do better that "take a look at what is on the shelf?"
And why did Wally World have to hold all these summits and stuff? Couldn't they have just gone to IKEA 10 years ago and see how they were trying to sell the same thing, for the same reason, and do that?
And when exactly did Wal Mart buy the Times? Man, believe me, i'll think twice before i take seriously anything this Barbaro guy writes. He quotes CEO Scott as saying: "The environmental movement is begging for the Wal-Mart business model” and then opines "It is the environmental movement’s dream: America’s biggest company, legendary for its salesmanship and influence with suppliers, encouraging 200 million shoppers to save energy."
Well, i assure you that my environment at least is not "begging for the Wal-Mart business model." I mean, heck, i like clean, free water and air. And, please! It is not the "environmental movement's dream" that Wal Mart is "encouraging 200 million shoppers to save energy." Environmentalists dream that Wal-Mart's Bentonville headquarters are attacked by a plague of locusts and that the rest of us develop the courage to do the next right thing.
12.31.2006
Honors reunion
Last night Walter, my mom, Catherine, and I went to the retirement party for Connie Hood, my undergraduate mentor who developed and ran Tech's phenomenal Honors Program. It was such fun, and more moving than I thought it would be. The Honors Program was an incredibly large part of what made my education at Tech as meaningful as it was. And I'm not the only one--a surprising number of Connie's students have gone on to get Ph.D.s in various fields. Someone should find out what the percentage actually is.
I met up with some of my closest friends from college last night, but the thing I wanted to blog about here was the experience of meeting up with folks who I actually didn't know. Here's a conversation that happened several times:
Alison: "Hey--tell me your name."
Random Honors person: "I'm Random Honors person."
Alison: "Great to meet you! I'm Alison."
Random Honors person: "I know. I read your blog."
Or this one:
Random Honors person: "I really like your hair."
Alison: "Oh, thank you! I had it cut in New York."
Random Honors person: "I know. I read your blog."
At this point I thought, well, I have nothing to say to you, because all the interesting stories I have to share at a party I've already put on the blog, so you know them all!
Meeting all these folks definitely made me think that Biffle and I need to do a better job of keeping the blog up to date, and thinking of interesting things to say.
Here's your interesting thing for today: a picture of me from college. The caption they'd added to this photo for last night's slide show was "Alison goes crazy with the frosting." I thought, "Some things never change."
12.26.2006
Santa's Little Helper Monkeys
Day-to-day life with the Piepmeiers usually revolves around a comedic theme. They are an habitual bunch...some may even say, well...compulsive, and as such are given to sticking to one joke until all possibilities are used up. Christmas is no different, and this year's comedic christmas theme (evidently because of something planted in Alison's head by none other than Kelly Love Johnson) was "helper monkeys."
Late in the evening last night, we sat around playing guitar (who knew Stinkfist could play guitar so well?) and singing christmas songs. The songs eventually de-volved into ad-lib caroles containing references to these helper monkeys.
For example, Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues became:
that Chistmas Train's -comin'
it's rollin' around the bend
it's full of helper monkeys
and i'm afraid of them
The pinnacle of all this creativeness came when we started in on Up On The Rooftop. Not an easy song to alter, Trey and I did what i consider a spectacular job of ad-libbing verses in which different people ask Santa Claus for different things--all of which, of course, had to do with helper monkeys, e.g. to replace their "leg-nub" for Christmas (the old leg having been chewed off by helper monkeys, of course), or asking Santa for helper monkey repellent, or even asking santa for a helper monkey, and on and on. I don't exactly remember what we sang, but it was funny, generally rhymed and had some semblance to the clipped tune and meter of Up on the Rooftop.
And then it was Alison's turn...
helper monkeys can carry rabies
so you've got to keep them vaccinated
they have sharp teeth and they sneak around your house
santa, i think i've changed my mind
