Baxter Deez, January 1995-May 13, 2009

We had Baxter put to sleep this afternoon.

She was a remarkable dog. As my brother and sister-in-law pointed out, she was the dog who inspired other people to adopt dogs, the dog who was loved even by people who don't like dogs. And not just people--she was Friend to All Cats. She had a virtually infallible technique for getting cats to like her, which involved patience and avoiding eye contact while sidling closer and closer to them. She was much beloved by all the cats who've ever come through our household, including more than one rip-snorting feral cat.

She used to chase after squirrels at top speed, faster even than much lither breeds, and she loved swimming. Lakes were her favorites, but if you were on a walk and she saw a particularly deep puddle, she'd be happy to plop down in the middle of it and bury her snout halfway, like an alligator. She'd grab a long stick in the yard and run around with it, tearing her head violently from side to side, breaking its spine.

She was a smart dog, too--smart enough that we had to start spelling "walk" around her because if she heard the word mentioned even in a casual way, she'd get very excited. And then we had to stop spelling it, because she figured out what "W-A-L-K" meant. For some reason she never did understand what "taking a stroll" meant, though, so we stuck with that.

She knew a lot of commands. She could "Go get Walter," "go get Alison," "go get your hedgehog," or do a down stay in front of a store or coffee shop indefinitely. People were often impressed--and rightly so--with how well behaved she was.

She was my companion when I couldn't sleep at night, my housemate when Biffle was in grad school, my bodyguard when we lived in sketchy parts of town. She was in our wedding. She would have been at Maybelle's birth if things had worked out like we planned.

She's been part of our family for fourteen years. For the last few years she's been able to do fewer and fewer of the things she loved, as she's gotten stiffer and more arthritic and lost muscle tone in her back legs. She's been taking expensive doggy Vioxx for the last several years, which has helped with the pain but hasn't eliminated it. She hasn't been able even to scratch her own ears for recent months, and Biffle and I have had to do that for her. She took a turn for the worse over the weekend, and it became clear to us that her quality of life was no good.

I realized today that I haven't been away from her more than a few weeks for fourteen years. I don't know what my life is going to be like without her.