9.22.2006

Hold-blooded--check it and see...

First off, i can't believe that someone would write a song with that as a lyric: hot-blooded, check it and see. got a fever of a hundred and three? It's times like this when i realize how grateful i am that fate didn't smile on me as far as being a rock and roll star. i've written a few lyrics that suck, too, but for my part i don't have to worry about being forced into performing them--bald and paunchy and pitched a couple of keys lower than the original--during the band's reunion tour. Hot blooded! 2006! aarp cards accepted!

Anyway! Alison and my preferred method of birth control is FAM, or fertility awareness method (hee-hee. I just felt Trey Stinky Piepmeier squirm in his computer chair--he hates it when i talk about having sex with his sister.) First off, about "FAM," i had to go ask alison what the proper name for this was because i think there's some politics attached to it. Like some people may know of this as "natural family planning," but maybe that's some old, repressive name for it or something. La-di-dah--I'm not really concerned about that: all i wanna talk about is taking my own temperature.

Part of FAM is alison taking her (oral) temperature every morning. It's a low price to pay to not being pumped up on synthetic hormones. As for my own political recommendation of the day, i'd say that if you're still livin' in the dark ages of medicine and use the pill, then i suggest you go get the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." There's a good chance you'll be much happier.

Alright, so alison takes her temperature every morning. I'm not gonna go into it, but you write this temp. on a chart, which we do every evening. (we have a thermometer that remembers the last temperature taken) i play my part by handing alison the thermometer in the morning and reading the temp to her at night. i also occasionally enjoy taking my own temperature with it--and that's the point of this post. See here's the deal: My temperature has for several weeks now been running a steady 96.7 degrees. What am i? Dead? That's pretty cold isn't it?

I don't know if this is what my temp. has run my whole life as i've only really checked my temperature when i've been sick--i don't know what it is when i'm well. But that might explain why i've always been such a wimp when i have a fever. Usually a temperature of a mere 101 degrees has me hallucinating--but of course, if these checks of mine are accurate, then 101 for me is everyone else's 103.

Hot-blooded, chicken of the sea
got a fever of a hundred and three
come on baby, do you do modern dance?

9 comments:

leepiepmeier said...

Walter

The Mom is the same way. She usually has a blood pressure of aroung 112 over 70 and a temperature of 96 something. This is her normal reading.

When she thinks she has a fever her temperature is usually 98 or 99 something. She finds this reading unsatisfying when she is whinning like a frenchman (kidding...).

Just some information
The Dad

mawie said...

i think my temp. stays around 97 so I don't think it's too unusual for yours to be 96ish...

Anonymous said...

Yep. 98.6 is an average/approximation. Some people have higher or lower normal temps. Kind of like 40 weeks is an average gestation period for humans. It's a handy number but not exact.

Some like it hot, some like it cold.
-djl

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with your temperature, or lack of one.

I thought it was a stupid song too, but then, the follies of youth are not limited to the writing and performance of stupid songs. When you are old enough, which may be now I don't know, you might want to check your own track record for youthful stupidity.

Or not.

CG

Kenneth said...

what about doc daneeka

Walter said...

have i forgotten an amends to someone with the initials of "cg?"

Walter said...

oh: and i remember yossarian had a temp of 101, but doc?

bjrh61d said...

96.8

Miss Meghann said...

In response to The Dad's message re: The Mom -- my blood pressure is 90 over 60 (this is up from last year; I think it has to do with me eating meat now) and I usually have a temp around 96. And I mean, I'm normal...right?

Also, is it bad that I did not think you took your oral temperature when doing FAM?