Me and brain tumors over at Girl w/Pen

I just posted my first monthly column at Girl w/Pen since the one I wrote in January explaining the brain tumor situation.  Because I haven't let that readership know what's up, I tried to do a kind of broad summation of what I've learned from grappling with my own mortality.  You know, just a little something. 

It turns out that sort of writing project is completely impossible to me right now.  So the post is a bit of a mess, but I've put a few thoughts over there that haven't ended up here yet.  If you're still intrigued by my brain tumor, have a look over there.


The Mom said...

Alison, I totally disagree with you that that post is a mess! I thought it was very well stated...beautifully stated. I wish I were able to put into words what reading your words makes me feel. I am so grateful to have been able to be a parent to my three, and so glad to see you experience that joy with Maybelle. We don't do it the same way (as in - I didn't think I was a better mother if I was working - although I did do a lot of work for La Leche League, didn't I? Hmmm...), but the feeling is there just the same.

Anonymous said...

Wait, how is that post a mess? I'm with the mom -- it's an eloquent and quite articulate piece that I was glad to read. And glad to be able to read.

I'm so, so happy to see how well you are doing post-surgery, and enjoy reading about your thoughts on motherhood.

Joel said...

I too disagree that your post is a mess. Logical progression and appropriate word choice are present and in keeping with pre-surgery posts. Frequently patients ask for numbers as far as percentage of loss. I am not sure that language ability is quantifiable in that respect. While there is definitely the possibility of a spectrum of deficits post-operatively, this is a qualitative and not quantitative determination which does not lend itself to a numerical value. Like intraoperative seizures, either they are there or not, and while some may loom larger than others, they are all significant to the individual in question. I think you may take a day when you have to work harder to compose a post of similar quality and immediately assume surgical or tumorgenic causality. The only way to determine that is to view your work over time and see if, aside from daily variation, there is an overall decrement in the quality of vocabulary, sentence structure, ability to present complex thoughts in a logical manner, etc. I don't see this, and it should have been evident long before this if it were to occur. Have a wonderful day!

Claire said...

Well I don't know what all these nice people are talking about -- because clearly you have no transition to a conclusion -- but you always have had trouble with that....

Alison said...

Y'all are sweet. Thanks for your encouragement--I want to assure you that my "it's a mess" was meant in a glib way, not a hair-pulling angsty way. Tone is tough on a blog.

And thanks to Claire, too, for a reminder about why a writing group is soooo helpful.