Anniversary

One year ago today, I was in Duke University Medical Center, having my brain operated on.  I guess this exact time last year I was already in the operating room, reading words off old blue cards, while Biffle and the rest of my family gnawed off parts of their bodies in the waiting room, trying not to be sick with anxiety.

This anniversary hasn't quite snuck up on me--I knew it was coming--but it's far less emotionally charged than the Christmas Eve anniversary of the seizures.  I dreaded Christmas Eve for months and months.  The dread here has been less severe, perhaps because I'm back to work and have lots of things to distract me.  Perhaps because the surgery wasn't as traumatic as the seizures:  the surgery represented the beginning of recovery.

I pretty thoroughly dislike the MRI process I'm still having to go through (the MRIs themselves are fine, but the "what if" component is...let's say challenging), but I have a real affection for the scar running through the part of my hair, and the distinct quarter inch shifting in my skull that is visible on my forehead.  In other words, I'm kind of fond of the aftereffects of the surgery itself.

This Feb. 12 I'm spending with Eliza and Macie, in from out of town.  Maybelle's watching The Wiggles while I make some oatmeal.  Then we're all going to a playground, since today is cold but sunny.  It's a good life-goes-on sort of agenda for the day.