2.01.2007

Not about the Clemson Gangsta Party

I'm not gonna write about the party. For those that don't know about it, just google "Clemson Gangsta Party" and you'll come up with something.

I'm not gonna write about it because i'm weary of people addressing the wrong problem. The same way i'm gonna get weary of people of addressing the same wrong problem a la the Joe Biden/articulate comment from yesterday.

See, folks, we don't need apologies--we need understanding. And we're not getting there.

[twenty minutes pass...]

Dammit! I've been writing stuff here and erasing it, and then writing more , and then getting rid of that! i just can't make up my mind how i want to say what i want to say. Mostly, i'm filled with this doubt as to what to say because this is a blog. Because it's a blog i don't know who will read it. I mean, of course, i know who reads this thing on a daily basis--the mom...and...and...that's probably it...well, maybe that abortion guy just waiting for another opportunity...

See i would like to think--and write on this blog accordingly--that some stranger is gonna find it and maybe read something that helps them out. But actually, Alison and i have a site meter device on here and i know what the strangers are interested in: weenie tots and hairy legs. Most every day someone googles the topic "how to make weenie tots" and "the name change question" and is forthwith directed to this blog. Amazing. Weenie Tot and Hairy Legs. I'm gonna suggest to Alison that she use that as the title for her autobiography when she's an old woman.

Anyway, when you don't know your audience, how do you write to them?

Well, the thing is, i do know who my audience is.

It's me.

It's me from the age of, say, 9 years old to about the time i met Alison. i want that kid to read stuff on here and save himself from being an idiot for a number of years. All that dumb racist, anti-academic, homophobic, masculine, capitalist crap i learned during those years has been/is really difficult to unlearn, dude. Don't learn it!

Here's a important lesson on how to spot "racist, anti-academic, homophobic, masculine, capitalist crap" (or Ramcack, as those of us in the biz call it):

Almost anything said by Pres. George Bush AND endorsed by your parent's church has a 100% chance of being Ramcack.

Told you i wasn't gonna talk about the party.

10 comments:

Regenia said...

ramcack. so appropriate.

Heather said...

For starters, this title may pull a number of hits. Over the past week I've noticed it's a common search term. Secondly, I'm taking weenie tots to a party on Sunday.

You may be surprised how many readers you have that found their way by accident, once they bookmark the blog sitemeter shows the referral as unknown. A few weeks ago I sent Aunt B (Tiny Cat Pants) Alison's post on Holding Things. I was surprised when later you noted a mutual friend.

Your readers trickle in over time, whether it's from a random click or a direct link. The writing here is engaging and that's what brings them back. But yes, some people only want the weenie tots.

Biffle said...

thanks for nice words, y'all.


i need to comment on my own post. first of all, i notice that i wrote "the name change question" when i should have written "should i shave my legs?" that was a slip. "the name change question" (as to whether a woman should change her name when she is married) is a very close third.

distant runners up are my toolbox and obscure bluegrass singers.

next: after re-reading my post i realize that i might be giving the impression that i think ONLY george bush and churches are ramcack. this is not so. Every one is eligible.

The Mom said...

OK...am I showing my age or ignorance if I ask what ramcack is? And if this isn't something you want to explain to your mother-in-law, I'll certainly understand! :-)

Bookninja said...

So, if you were filled with ramcack (a clogging invasive substance) why the hell did Alison ever even talk to you?

Alison said...

To Bookninja:

Because he was a stone fox.

Kenneth said...

I knew you when you were 9, and I don't remember you being racist and homophobic. Though it was you who around that time pointed out to me that the Village People were "all" gay.

Biffle said...

poor the mom:

you're showing neither--just not looking for close. ramcack: Racist, Anti-academic, homophobic, Masculine, Capitalist crap (or possibly Krap). it's just a bad acronym. and is, of course, "the vomit of a large male sheep." (that's where the real magic kicks in!)


bookninja: it's true. i was a stone fox.

kenneth: it's true. i was never really a card-carrying racist (or "prejudice" as i know some folks prefer). i was just sort of what i consider to be your average- Tennessee-white-boy-kinda-racist: i was about nine years old when i noticed positive feedback from adults for "tellin' a good n***er joke." (jesus,what a world we do live in....) but yeah, i never really got the homophobia thing down at all (lord knows enough folks tried to help.)
anyway, thanks for the credit. oh...do keep in mind, however, that alison and i do hold to the theory that "we're all a little bit prejudice, we're all a little bit homophobic, etc,etc.....

Maig said...

what does it mean to be anti-academic?

Alison said...

Maig: I think Biffle means to be opposed to thinking through things rather than accepting the things you were taught. The people at his high school who told him that college professors were going to corrupt his mind and lead him away from the one true faith were anti-academic. And they were right, too--college DID lead him away from their faith.